6th December

Hey folks,

So sorry for being so slack at writing recently! I’m still here, plodding on day to day, and getting through best I can! My moods have been reasonably stable lately, so that’s good. I kind of feel like I’m just on cruise control, I guess that’s not such a bad thing!! It’s better than being depressed or manic that’s for sure.

Christmas is fast approaching though, and I’m getting a tad stressed about that. Can’t afford much for anyone, and nothing for each other either, which sucks. I know the true meaning of Christmas isn’t about gifts, it’s about being with each other. But there’s a lot of expectation surrounding it, and that’s what really bugs me to be honest. People shouldn’t expect gifts, as times are tough and people just can’t afford to splurge these days.

Life is just ticking along though, and as I said above, I’m just getting by day to day really. Not making any big plans, as they never seem to work out anyway! But I am loving life at the moment, well mostly. In a bit of debt which is also stressing me out, but hopefully I’ll find a way to resolve it. Not sure how, but there’s got to be a way somehow. It’s nothing new to me to be honest, so really I shouldn’t be stressing about it….

Anyway, think that’s all from me really; just thought I’d check in a let you all know I’m still alive, haha!! Hope you’re all well and doing okay. Apologies again for my slacking on the posting front, will try to get back to it regularly.

Thanks for reading folks, take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

19th November

Hey folks,

Apologies for the long delay in me writing, again! There’s really not a lot going on that I can write about to be honest. Just living day to day really, doing okay and loving life 🙂

My poor mum had a fall yesterday, bless her, cut all down one side of her face, and her eye. Looked very sore 😦 thankfully nothing broken, and she was quite chirpy and well otherwise, just a little shaken up. I spent all afternoon with her, just to make sure she was okay.

I can’t remember if I told you about getting a car or not, was a while ago…. but I did. A little black Ford Ka. Called him Charlie, haha! Well, am in the process of selling him now! It needs a fair bit of work doing to it and it’s just not on my priorities right now. So it’s got to go sadly. Was a good little car for the time I had it 🙂

Still smoke free, nearly 3 weeks now, well will be on Sunday 🙂 feeling great and loving being a non-smoker too. Feels really good, and I’m really proud of myself. Never thought I’d ever crack it; but just goes to show if you’re head is in the right place, then you can take on anything!

Anyway, that’s pretty much it from me really, nothing else going on to write about at the moment! Thanks for reading my randomness though, means a lot!

Take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

 

9th November

Hey folks,

Been a while hasn’t it haha, apologies. Not really had a lot to write about though to be honest, as not much has really happened! Well, that’s a lie, there’s been a few developments over the past week, but not all I can write about here unfortunately! I can tell you 2 things though; I’ve cancelled my gym instructor assessment tomorrow and deferred my course for a year. For reasons that I can’t explain just now, but don’t worry, I am okay honestly. Life has just gotten in the way really, and it’s not the right time for me to be studying.

Other than that, not a lot to report really!! My medication has been reduced slightly, which is good! But I am being referred back to the mental health team, just to keep an eye on things for a while. I’m doing okay, but they just want to check up on me and monitor things on the new medication. Don’t worry folks, it’s all good 🙂

Oh, today is day 8 smoke free 😀 Doing really well, and not even using patches any more either!! I’m feeling really determined and confident this time around, and 100% motivated; so it’s all good!!

Right, that’s all from me for tonight, am really tired and fancy a nice bath and an early night 🙂

Thanks for reading, and will try and post more often! Take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

2nd November

Hey folks,

Will keep this short and sweet tonight, as am totally shattered!!

Overall it’s been a good day, not really done very much to be honest. Went for my run this morning, but it was fairly slow. I didn’t push myself too hard either. Just took it steady and got it done. Which is better than no run at all 🙂 came in at 17:33. So only 3 seconds slower than Friday, but my average mile pace was quicker at 12:18. So that’s not too bad.

After my run I just chilled out for a bit, watched tv and gave my cat lots of fuss! He’s really clingy to me at the moment!

I then went into town for a few things, then back home and headed to my mums. As haven’t seen her for a while, so thought I’d better show my face haha!

Ugh, think I’ve eaten too much today, feel a bit sick!

Today is day one of my quit smoking attempt, and all has gone well so far! Using patches this time around, and so far so good!

Anyway, that’s all from me for tonight, am thinking about going to bed soon haha. Thanks for reading as always lovely people, take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

1st November

Hey folks,

So we’re not in November, wow! As I said yesterday, this year really has flown by. We’re into the last couple of months of the year. A new month begins, bringing new opportunities, new challenges, and new possibilities. Make the most of each and every day, live it as if it’s your last.

Today has been a really chilled out day again, which has been lush. We didn’t get up until pretty much 1pm! Which was really nice, as 10 hours sleep is good for me! Feeling really good to be honest. Really rested, relaxed and happy 🙂 went for a lovely walk with the hubby this afternoon, as the weather has been unseasonably warm for the 1st of November!

Tonight I plan to do yet more revision; learning the muscle groups worked by all the different equipment in my programme, as well as the rest of the equipment as well! This is because, on my assessment day, I’ll do 3 out of my 4 programmed exercises, and the assessor will pick a 4th at random. So I need to know what everything does, and what muscles they work! A hard task for sure. I’ve so far got 2 people to practice my programme on, so that’s a good start. Would love to train more though, as the more practice I get, the better! With only 1 week and 1 day to go, I’m getting really nervous!! Really really don’t want to fail it. Like I’ve said, there’s a £100 fee to pay to be re-assessed, and that’s beyond my means at the moment. So if I fail, my whole course will stop 😦 But I’m not going to fail, right?!! Haha. I do know my stuff, it’s just a case of remembering it all and doing it on the day. Which is easier said than done….

Tomorrow is run day and leg day at the gym, and maybe a run through of my programme, fingers crossed.

Anyway, that’s all from me today my lovelies, hope you’ve all had a good weekend! Thanks for reading 🙂 take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

31st October

Hey folks,

So, we’re at the end of another month of 2015. Only 2 left…. this year has seriously flown by, and so much has changed in the past 10 months. I’ve changed a lot too, for the better I hope! I’ve got to grips with my illness, and I control it, rather than it controlling me. Which is good. I know that it’s a lifelong battle, each and every day, but now I know my triggers and warning signs, I can take action before I relapse. It feels good to be in control at last. It’s taken a long time, but I think I’m finally there.

Obviously there will be times where things happen beyond my control, that’s just how Bipolar works unfortunately. But I’m a lot better than I was, and I’m thankful for that.

Today has been a good day too, I didn’t get up until 12pm haha. My darling hubby let me sleep in, which was lush. I really needed the sleep to be honest, have been getting so tired lately, that I’ve been falling asleep on the sofa by 8pm in the evening. It’s crazy. I feel so old haha. The rest of the day I’ve just been chilling out, watching tv and trying to revise in small bits. If I try to read though, my head starts spinning with anxiety and I can’t concentrate. It’s frustrating. But, thankfully, I’ve finally got someone I can practice on before my assessment; my wonderful brother in law has said he will. I was getting so desperate it was unreal, and luckily he’s jumped in to help me. I really need as much practice as I can get to be honest. The more I practice, the more likely it is that I’ll pass my assessment.

It’s coming up so damn fast though, it’s freaking me out somewhat. Only 9 days to go….

I’m going to look on YouTube tonight for some teaching videos to see if I can learn anything haha.

Speaking of which, I need to get back to my revision, so will call it a day with this tonight. Nothing much else to report to be honest! Happy Halloween by the way! I don’t celebrate it, but I know some people do!

Thanks for reading as always folks, hope you’re having a great weekend, whatever you’re up to! Take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

30th October

Hey folks,

Feeling pretty good today; went for my run this morning, in the rain! Was pretty slow at 17:30 with an average mile pace of 12:48, but I’m going to blame the rain haha! I then hit the gym hard and smashed my upper body! Chest, shoulders, biceps, triceps and lats. Felt really good, and by the end my arms were shaking like mad! Loved it 😀 I did – warm up on the rower for 5 minutes at level 6 resistance, then strict shoulder press, lateral raise, bench press, pec flys, seated row, lat pull, bicep curls and tricep pushdowns. Feeling it now to be honest, everything is starting ache haha. My legs were already aching from my PT sessions. It’s all good though.

This afternoon I went to drop off the keys to my now ex boss. I’m no longer working as her housekeeper. I won’t go into it on here though, too complicated!

So I’m on the hunt for a job, preferably in a gym! At the moment though, my priority has to be preparing for my assessment. I’m still looking for people to practice on as well, but no one seems keen for some free training! It’s frustrating me, because if I don’t practice, I’m going into my assessment under prepared. Which could lead to me failing, something I really want to avoid. As I can’t afford the £100 to be re-assessed at a later date. Fingers crossed someone will say yes!

Diet wise, it’s all gone a bit wrong today. Made my first ever apple crumble this afternoon, so had that for pudding after dinner. It was really nice, but the calories worked out really high because of all the sugar! Never mind, tomorrow is a new day to try again!! I’ve worked out hard today, so did kind of earn some of it any way.

Anyway, best get back to my revision now, need to learn it all back to front and inside out!
Thanks for reading as ever folks, hope you’ve all had a good week, and have a great weekend. We have no plans as yet, just chilling out mostly, and revising for me haha. Take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x