End of an era….

Hey folks,

After careful consideration, I’ve decided to shut down this blog. It is with a heavy heart, and a feeling of guilt also. As my views have dwindled to practically zero now, due to my own negligence of not posting regularly. Life just simply got in the way. I may start up a new blog in the future, but for now, I’m bringing this one to a close.

Thank you all for all of your support, comments etc, it has truly meant a lot to me over the past couple of years. It is with deep sadness that I’ve made this decision, but I feel it’s for the best in the long run. I just don’t have the time to spend writing much these days, as life with a baby is rather hectic! Rest assured, your loyalty to my blog never went unnoticed, and I feel so grateful for all of you who have followed my journey on here.

Apologies to anyone who does still pop by and read my ramblings, I’ll come back one day perhaps! May just start a fresh blog at some point about being a mother with bipolar. But this blog has well and truly run it’s course now I think, and it’s time to move on.

I’m going to find a way of downloading all of the posts, so that I can keep them, before I delete the blog. As it’ll be good to look back on maybe. Who knows. I could even get it printed into a book…. that would be a bit ott though perhaps!

So, with all that said, I write my final words, but this time, there won’t be a next time.

Thank you, from the bottom of my heart.

Take care, stay strong, and good bye.

x Sara Phoenix x

New Year Update!!

Hey folks,

Huge, huge apologies for not blogging in so long!! It’s been a crazy couple of months to be honest and a lot has happened! So, I am here to update you all and hopefully get back on track with my blog and post more often again! I’ve missed it to be honest!!!!

Well, where to start….

As you all know, I quit smoking on 2nd November 2015. And I’m delighted to say it’s stuck this time, and I’m still smokefree 🙂 having some really great news on the same day as my first quit day really helped to motivate me though. Also on the 2nd of November, I found out I’m pregnant!!!! Dreams came true and year made! There was no doubt I’d stay smokefree from there onwards!

Because of morning sickness though, I’ve not visited the gym since 11th November!! Shocking I know…. I really do miss it. It used to be my second home haha. I had to stop training with my PT as well, as it was too much and I didn’t want to cause any harm to baby.

I’ve also put my Personal Trainer course on hold; as I was unable to do the practical exams now that I’m pregnant. It’s on hold for a year, so I won’t have to worry about it until end of this year, when baby will be here 🙂

I’m now 14 weeks pregnant, and the morning sickness is starting to ease slightly; it’s now more just the evenings, whereas to start with I felt sick all day every day! I can’t say I’ve really enjoyed being pregnant so far haha! But it’ll all be worth it.

We had the first scan this week too, to make sure everything was okay and to date the pregnancy officially. Baby was measuring 13 weeks and 5 days, so my due date is July 8th 🙂 6 months from today!! All is well though, and it was such an amazing experience to see our baby for the first time; and amusing when the sonographer wiggled the scanner on my tummy, and baby turned it’s back on us, showing us it’s bottom! We did buy some scan photo’s too, and I can’t stop looking at them! I’m so in love already! The next scan is on the 19th February, when I’ll be 20 weeks, halfway! It’s going so fast, it’s kind of frightening haha. We’re not going to find out the sex of the baby though, we’re keeping it as a surprise for when it’s born. As hubby pointed out, you don’t get many surprises in life, and this one will be rather epic!

I’m so excited, and rather terrified! Being a mummy is all I’ve ever wanted, and we’ve been trying for a baby for 5 years, so it’s been a long time coming. In the back of my mind I’m constantly worrying though, hoping and praying that nothing goes wrong, and seriously can’t wait to meet him or her and hold them in my arms.

Here is our beautiful baby:

12417804_10204199221980784_7424757078616080913_n

It has caused a few complications regarding my medication though for the bipolar. They had to change the anti-psychotic to a safer one asap, and I’ve got to go back and see the psychiatrist throughout my pregnancy, so they can keep an eye on my mental health. That side of it is a little frustrating, as I never really got on with the psychiatrist, always found her to be so patronising and she never really listened to me. Maybe things will be different this time around, fingers crossed. I’ve also got to be under a consultant at the hospital as well.

As far as my mental health goes at the moment, I’m feeling great. Over the moon at the thought of being a mummy, honestly couldn’t be happier right now. When I see the psychiatrist later on this month, I am going to say that I want to come off the anti-psychotics though; as I’ve read that it can cause problems when taken through the third trimester. So I want off. It’s completely my right to request that too, so she can’t really tell me no. As long as I stay on the anti-depressant I think I’ll be okay anyway. As depression was my main problem over the years.

I’ve just realised that really the only thing that’s happened since I last posted is the pregnancy haha. And that’s all I’ve seemed to talk about in this post…. ah well, it’s all good!

I hope you all forgive me for being so quiet; I do appreciate you all still and have missed talking to you. Hope you all had a lovely Christmas, and I wish you all the best for 2016. I hope it’s an awesome year for us all!!

I shall leave it there for tonight as I’m completely exhausted and bed is calling me! So, thank you for reading and I hope you’ll still all be there for me on this new and exciting adventure in my life 🙂

Take care, stay strong, and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

6th December

Hey folks,

So sorry for being so slack at writing recently! I’m still here, plodding on day to day, and getting through best I can! My moods have been reasonably stable lately, so that’s good. I kind of feel like I’m just on cruise control, I guess that’s not such a bad thing!! It’s better than being depressed or manic that’s for sure.

Christmas is fast approaching though, and I’m getting a tad stressed about that. Can’t afford much for anyone, and nothing for each other either, which sucks. I know the true meaning of Christmas isn’t about gifts, it’s about being with each other. But there’s a lot of expectation surrounding it, and that’s what really bugs me to be honest. People shouldn’t expect gifts, as times are tough and people just can’t afford to splurge these days.

Life is just ticking along though, and as I said above, I’m just getting by day to day really. Not making any big plans, as they never seem to work out anyway! But I am loving life at the moment, well mostly. In a bit of debt which is also stressing me out, but hopefully I’ll find a way to resolve it. Not sure how, but there’s got to be a way somehow. It’s nothing new to me to be honest, so really I shouldn’t be stressing about it….

Anyway, think that’s all from me really; just thought I’d check in a let you all know I’m still alive, haha!! Hope you’re all well and doing okay. Apologies again for my slacking on the posting front, will try to get back to it regularly.

Thanks for reading folks, take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

19th November

Hey folks,

Apologies for the long delay in me writing, again! There’s really not a lot going on that I can write about to be honest. Just living day to day really, doing okay and loving life 🙂

My poor mum had a fall yesterday, bless her, cut all down one side of her face, and her eye. Looked very sore 😦 thankfully nothing broken, and she was quite chirpy and well otherwise, just a little shaken up. I spent all afternoon with her, just to make sure she was okay.

I can’t remember if I told you about getting a car or not, was a while ago…. but I did. A little black Ford Ka. Called him Charlie, haha! Well, am in the process of selling him now! It needs a fair bit of work doing to it and it’s just not on my priorities right now. So it’s got to go sadly. Was a good little car for the time I had it 🙂

Still smoke free, nearly 3 weeks now, well will be on Sunday 🙂 feeling great and loving being a non-smoker too. Feels really good, and I’m really proud of myself. Never thought I’d ever crack it; but just goes to show if you’re head is in the right place, then you can take on anything!

Anyway, that’s pretty much it from me really, nothing else going on to write about at the moment! Thanks for reading my randomness though, means a lot!

Take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

 

9th November

Hey folks,

Been a while hasn’t it haha, apologies. Not really had a lot to write about though to be honest, as not much has really happened! Well, that’s a lie, there’s been a few developments over the past week, but not all I can write about here unfortunately! I can tell you 2 things though; I’ve cancelled my gym instructor assessment tomorrow and deferred my course for a year. For reasons that I can’t explain just now, but don’t worry, I am okay honestly. Life has just gotten in the way really, and it’s not the right time for me to be studying.

Other than that, not a lot to report really!! My medication has been reduced slightly, which is good! But I am being referred back to the mental health team, just to keep an eye on things for a while. I’m doing okay, but they just want to check up on me and monitor things on the new medication. Don’t worry folks, it’s all good 🙂

Oh, today is day 8 smoke free 😀 Doing really well, and not even using patches any more either!! I’m feeling really determined and confident this time around, and 100% motivated; so it’s all good!!

Right, that’s all from me for tonight, am really tired and fancy a nice bath and an early night 🙂

Thanks for reading, and will try and post more often! Take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

2nd November

Hey folks,

Will keep this short and sweet tonight, as am totally shattered!!

Overall it’s been a good day, not really done very much to be honest. Went for my run this morning, but it was fairly slow. I didn’t push myself too hard either. Just took it steady and got it done. Which is better than no run at all 🙂 came in at 17:33. So only 3 seconds slower than Friday, but my average mile pace was quicker at 12:18. So that’s not too bad.

After my run I just chilled out for a bit, watched tv and gave my cat lots of fuss! He’s really clingy to me at the moment!

I then went into town for a few things, then back home and headed to my mums. As haven’t seen her for a while, so thought I’d better show my face haha!

Ugh, think I’ve eaten too much today, feel a bit sick!

Today is day one of my quit smoking attempt, and all has gone well so far! Using patches this time around, and so far so good!

Anyway, that’s all from me for tonight, am thinking about going to bed soon haha. Thanks for reading as always lovely people, take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

1st November

Hey folks,

So we’re not in November, wow! As I said yesterday, this year really has flown by. We’re into the last couple of months of the year. A new month begins, bringing new opportunities, new challenges, and new possibilities. Make the most of each and every day, live it as if it’s your last.

Today has been a really chilled out day again, which has been lush. We didn’t get up until pretty much 1pm! Which was really nice, as 10 hours sleep is good for me! Feeling really good to be honest. Really rested, relaxed and happy 🙂 went for a lovely walk with the hubby this afternoon, as the weather has been unseasonably warm for the 1st of November!

Tonight I plan to do yet more revision; learning the muscle groups worked by all the different equipment in my programme, as well as the rest of the equipment as well! This is because, on my assessment day, I’ll do 3 out of my 4 programmed exercises, and the assessor will pick a 4th at random. So I need to know what everything does, and what muscles they work! A hard task for sure. I’ve so far got 2 people to practice my programme on, so that’s a good start. Would love to train more though, as the more practice I get, the better! With only 1 week and 1 day to go, I’m getting really nervous!! Really really don’t want to fail it. Like I’ve said, there’s a £100 fee to pay to be re-assessed, and that’s beyond my means at the moment. So if I fail, my whole course will stop 😦 But I’m not going to fail, right?!! Haha. I do know my stuff, it’s just a case of remembering it all and doing it on the day. Which is easier said than done….

Tomorrow is run day and leg day at the gym, and maybe a run through of my programme, fingers crossed.

Anyway, that’s all from me today my lovelies, hope you’ve all had a good weekend! Thanks for reading 🙂 take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x