Apologies for not posting regularly as I’d hoped to, but as you can imagine, life is pretty hectic! Jessica has turned our world upside down quite honestly, but I wouldn’t change a thing. I totally adore being a mummy, despite it being the hardest job in the world haha. I’m utterly exhausted 99% of the time, but she’s so worth it. I have to say, that my biggest, best and proudest achievement in life, is most definitely having my daughter. I’m proud of my body for growing such a perfect little human, who fills me with such love and joy, every minute of every day (even when she’s grumpy!). She’s beautiful and has so much love to give already, and I love her with all my heart and soul. She’s a month old today, and what a month it has been! We’ve had great days, good days and the odd difficult day, but each and every day is such a blessing to have our daughter.
Things have gone a little sour regarding our housing situation though, which is stressing me out somewhat. It’s a bit of a complicated story to be honest, and some of it I can’t really divulge in such a public domain, but we do find ourselves in quite a pickle at the moment. Up until 26th June, our rent was subsidised, and unbeknown to us that particular avenue stopped and now for that reason, which is beyond our control, we’re over £1000 in rent arrears, and that needs to be paid before the housing association will even contemplate moving us within their system, and the council won’t let us bid on their accommodation website until it’s resolved too. We’ve acquired the assistance of a family support worker though, who is going to help us. Tomorrow she is coming round to the flat, to go through the paperwork and make some calls to the relevant people. Hopefully we can rectify the situation and get things sorted and moving in the right direction (quite literally!). We’re due to be given our 2 months notice to move out of here on the 1st of September, which means all being well, we shall be out of here by the end of October. In all honesty, I’ll be glad to go, as we have such issues with neighbours that it’s driving us both mad on a daily basis and it’s not somewhere I want to bring up my daughter.
Mental health wise, I did have a tiny blip, just on one day, where I had a proper meltdown and my husband had to come home from work to help look after Jessica. I’d spent the morning crying and Jessica had been really unsettled. I was totally frazzled and definitely not coping. Thankfully, it was literally just that one day so far that I’ve gotten to that state, but ever since I’ve been a bit paranoid to be honest. But, I take each day as it comes, and plod on. At the end of the day, my daughter means the world to me and no matter what, I’m going to keep myself well, and if that means getting extra help then so be it.
Anyway, today has been quite a difficult day, as Jessica has been really grizzly and unsettled, so we’re going to try and get her to sleep and then get some sleep ourselves. Will try and post as often as I can, but like I said at the start, things are rather hectic! I don’t even get time to drink a hot cuppa these days haha. Love her though, so so much.
Thanks for reading peeps, hope you’re all doing okay and are well 🙂
Take care, stay strong and until next time….
x Sara Phoenix x