Long time, no speak!!!!

Hey folks!!

Firstly, let me apologise a million times and more, for not posting in so long!! It wasn’t totally intentional, although perhaps it has done the blog some good to have a break, and to be fair, I’ve had a lot going on! I hope this post finds you all well too 🙂

Anyway, where to begin?!

The last time I blogged, I proudly announced my pregnancy! Well, I’m no longer pregnant, and I’m now a very proud mummy, to a beautiful baby girl, who we’ve called Jessica 🙂 for safety reasons, I won’t post a photo (sorry), but we’re utterly besotted with her. She was born at 12:16pm, on Thursday 7th July, weighing 7lbs 11oz. My labour was long, painful and exhausting, but she’s so worth it. I was a complete nutter and refused all pain relief though! My husband calls me his badass wife, haha! I honestly do not know how I managed to get through it, perhaps just sheer grit and determination, and focusing on the end result! My labour took a long time to get going, and in the end they had to break my waters, and then hook me up to a hormone drip as well to speed things up. Overall, I was in established labour for 8 hours and 6 minutes, and 2 of those hours was pushing. I was utterly exhausted, and needed a bit of help to get her out, in the form of the ventouse. I had hoped to avoid intervention, but obviously once they’d broken my waters and induced me, that had gone out of the window anyway. Plus, I was prepared to do anything to get her out safely. By the end I really just didn’t have the energy to push her out on my own. I had to be cut and tore quite badly, so needed a lot of stitches, meaning recovering is tough. I also had a post-partum haemorrhage too, so have needed to be on iron tablets since the birth.  I’m getting there slowly but surely, and loving being a mummy!! Although I’m so sleep deprived, I’m starting to lose my mind a little haha. She’s quite a good girl though, and pretty laid back like her daddy, which is good. Everyone who meets her comments on how content she is, and how well behaved! I’m guessing it won’t always be like that haha!

As far as my mental health is concerned, I came off all medication as 20 weeks pregnant, as it was discovered that there was potential risks to baby, and I wasn’t prepared to take any chances with our precious little bundle. So, I came off the Sertraline first, followed by the Quetiapine as well. It was a little rocky to start with, but the pregnancy hormones really helped I think. I was classed as stable throughout the remainder of my pregnancy, which is really good. I’m not back on my medication though, in order to avoid post natal depression or post partum psychosis. I’m feeling pretty good though, and I’ve only got to look at my daughter for a reason to smile 🙂

Another thing we’ve had to deal with, is moving home. That in itself is stressful enough, but doing so whilst pregnant was really hard. I was so useless, as couldn’t really do a lot of the lifting or anything, and that frustrated me. Anyone who knows me personally, knows how much I value my independence, and I didn’t have a lot of that by the end of my pregnancy! We moved in March, and managed to get settled and everything ready for baby’s arrival, so that wasn’t so bad. We do however, find ourselves in the same situation again! (No, not pregnant haha!). Where we’re living now, was only temporary, like emergency housing really. So, we’re on the hunt again for somewhere else. I’m really hoping that we can find a house, as we’re currently in a 2 bed flat, with very little space. Quite frankly, I’m glad we’ve got to move again. With one thing and another, this place just hasn’t ever really felt like home. It’s on the first floor, so there’s a set of stairs to deal with, and when I was heavily pregnant, it was a total mission. Now, it’s a mission getting the pram up and down!! I’d love a little house, with a garden, for Jessica really. But, what will be will be, and we shall see!! Fingers crossed!

As of today, I am 8 months, 13 days and 22 odd hours, smokefree! It totally stuck this time; I think the motivation of being pregnant really spurred me on, and now of course with a little baby, I just don’t want to go back to it. Don’t get me wrong though, there has been moments where I’ve thought about it, and even craved it too. But, I just look at our little girl, and I vow to stay smokefree for her sake. Her daddy still smokes, but never around her. He is also planning to quit soon anyway.

I believe that’s pretty much it from me tonight; it’s going to be feed time soon, and potentially bed time for us all as well! I’m struggling to keep my eyes open, so hoping for a good night tonight….

Thanks for being patient with me, and still following me regardless of the lack of posts! I appreciate each and every one of you!! I shall try to post a bit more often, but obviously with baby, it may be short, sweet and sporadic!

Take care, stay strong, and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x