21st June

Hey folks,

I’m a little down today; it’s Fathers Day here in the UK, and I’m missing mine a lot. I wish he was still with us, to wish him a happy fathers day. 😦 It’s a day I struggle with every year, closely followed by the anniversary of his death on the 29th. June in general is a bit of a toughie because of those two dates to be honest. But I get through it with the love and support of my friends and family. In particular my amazing husband; he’s my rock. I’d be totally lost without him.

For those of you who have only just started following my blog, you’ll not know of the fact that I’ve quit smoking many times over the past few months, and the last attempt ended in failure. I’ve been smoking for a good few weeks now, and it’s starting to have a negative impact on my fitness levels. Looking back, I can remember how great I felt as a non-smoker. Also how proud I was of myself, and others were of me too. I’ve been a smoker from around the age of 15, and I’m now 30. Over the years I’ve quit so many times, using various methods (patches, pills, gum etc etc….). Cold turkey seems to be the way that works best for me. I don’t know why, as it’s by far the hardest way, but I find that replacing the nicotine with other products, just delays the healing process and I always end up smoking again within a couple of days. My best cold turkey record is 6 months; so I’m aiming for that and beyond this next time.

Tomorrow is day 1 of my smokefree life. Biggest reason is, with only £5 left in the bank after buying food, I can’t actually afford to smoke. But there are of course other reasons as to why I’m going to quit. (At the end of the day, if I wanted to smoke I’d find a way somehow….). But this time, I really want to quit. It’s time to get it done. For the financial gains, health gains, fitness gains, and most importantly, the fact that I want to be a personal trainer. I want to be at 100% fitness and health, so that I can be the best I can be. I want to inspire, motivate and encourage others to reach their goals, and I can’t be a smoker to do that. I need to set the best example, and at the moment I’m not doing that. My own personal trainer is an ex smoker, and he’s fully supportive of my decision to quit (obviously!) and knows how hard it is too.

He inspires me and motivates me to want to be like him, fit, strong and healthy. I’ve taken care of the fitness side, and the diet side, now it’s time to crack the whip with myself and get the smoking side sorted too, once and for all. I know I can do it because I’ve done it so many times before. As I said above, I do remember how great it feels to be a non-smoker. The fact that I could get up in the morning and take a deep breath without coughing; the way I didn’t smell of stale cigarettes all the time; my teeth started getting whiter; my fingers lost their yellow staining; and I was proud of myself. I held my head high and felt so free. I get so out of breath at my PT sessions, and I really want that to stop. Yes a little out of breath is normal, but the way I huff and puff is really not. I find it really hard to catch my breath after an intense circuit, and end up having to cut down on reps the next time around. I want to be able to do more and more, not less and less.

So yes, tomorrow is the beginning of my new journey as a non-smoker. I’m booked in for a class at the gym, so that’ll help keep my mind off them, I hope! I have classes booked all week except Friday (at the moment!), so I’ve got plenty of things to do. The classes I have booked are:

Monday – Pure Fat Burn
Tuesday – Pure Cycle
Wednesday – Pure Legs, Bums and Tums
Thursday – Pure Ladies Tone

(Yes I realise I’ve probably listed these in a previous post, but there’s no hard in reiterating!)

Wow this has turned in to an epic post, if you’ve made it this far I salute you! I do tend to waffle on when I get going. But I’m hoping this blog post provides me something to look upon when I’m struggling over the next few weeks. I’ve listed my reasons for quitting, in many forms (on my phone, on here and in a notebook), so I’ve plenty to look at. I’m determined to make it work this time, no matter how hard it is. I will NOT give in. Like I say, with only a fiver in the bank, I can’t actually afford to smoke anyway! So FINGERS CROSSED!!

Right am going to leave it there for today and go do some boxing on my punch bag. Will be the first time I’ve had chance to use it and I’m excited!! It is supposed to be my rest day today, but I’m bored….

Thanks for reading as always folks, hope all the fathers out there are having a lovely Fathers Day! Make the most of every day with your parents folks, you never know how much time you have left with them, and it can run out so much faster than you think.

Take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

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