3rd May

Hey folks,

Thought I’d check in early today, as it’s a pretty chilled out day and I’d got nothing better to do!

The weather has been so up and down today, we’ve not been for our usual Sunday walk. To be honest I kinda needed the time out of a rest day today anyway. Will be back at the gym tomorrow, despite it being a bank holiday. My triceps, biceps and back are rather achey today after my PT session yesterday; but that was expected. At least I can walk this time! That’s a nice novelty.

My mood has been much like the weather. I can’t keep up with it to be honest. I’m up one minute, down the next and it’s frustrating me somewhat. I had gotten used to being nice and stable, so to be so topsy turvy again really sucks. I really wish I knew why I’m so unstable right now; I think that’s what make it worse. The unknown triggers that usually I can catch and avoid. I know stress is a big one for me, but certain circumstances are about to change in a weeks time.

Those circumstances are: we’re taking in a lodger, which will help us financially. He’s a very good and trusted friend, so it’s not something I’m worried about.

So that’ll take care of the financial stress; so really I should be starting to feel better surely? I don’t know. That’s why I kinda figure it’s not the stress at fault for my mood. Because if it was, changing that would help, but it doesn’t seem to be. I guess in time it will, when things are more settled. The prospect of being in better financial shape is starting to feel good though.

If this low mood continues I may see my GP and see what he suggests. I don’t know if my medication can be adjusted any further, but I guess it can be. But I don’t know whether I really want it to be. As it is I’m on a fairly high dose of both anyway. To increase them again will be like a setback, in the fact that physically it’ll wipe me out again. As when it was increased the last time, my energy levels dropped dramatically and all I did was sleep! Maybe that wouldn’t happen this time around, but I don’t really want to risk it. Am loving going to the gym and being active. I don’t want that to change.

I’m still waiting to hear from the new PT, I’m not sure if D has actually spoken to him as yet though. He did say either last night or Monday, so perhaps I’ll hear tomorrow. He may even be at the gym when I go in tomorrow, so that would be good, then I could meet him and see for myself who I’m likely to be training with. For me I need to be able to get on with them as a person, as well as a PT. Which I did with D, really well. If there’s not that connection there, then the PT side of things isn’t going to work. There needs to be a good rapport between client and trainer, otherwise it’s a recipe for disaster.

Part of me is looking forward to it, but the other half is apprehensive. I never really got past the nerves that came before each session, as we didn’t work together long enough. So it’ll be that state all over again for a time, until we get used to each other. But, that said, it’s a challenge I’m looking forward to. I really hope he keeps it at the same rate that D charged me, otherwise it’s out of my league. I feel I need the extra motivation and push to keep training at the right level. I’ve not learnt enough as yet to go it alone. I don’t want to rely on YouTube videos and other such internet sources, I’d rather have the hands on experience. That’s the only way you really learn, especially with the weights side of things, as form is so important. I’d only really started with that sort of thing with D, so I’ve still got a lot to learn. Having a PT makes me work harder, train better, and I was just beginning to see results. So it’s definitely something I want to pursue, at least for a few more months.

Anyway, enough waffle for one day. I’ve got laundry to get out and hang up, fun fun fun! Watch this space I guess in regards to my mood, and fingers crossed it starts to improve soon….

Thank you for reading, and welcome aboard any new followers that have joined me these past couple of days, thanks for following!

Take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x


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