22nd April

Hey folks,

Today’s been a good day 🙂

This morning was just housework and chilling out; then this afternoon was gym time! My favourite part of my day. Today was leg day; totally smashed my workout, here’s what I did –

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I feel really proud of myself! I’ve definitely got a bit of an addiction to fitness! Which is of course a good thing 😀 Slowly but surely, my body is changing. I’m loving it! 😀 The rower as a warm up, leg press, leg curl and leg extensions were set out by my PT for me to do, and I added the rest around it myself.

I also had a final review letter through from my CBT therapist; here’s some snippets of what it said –

At the start of my therapy back in February, my PHQ (Patient Health Questionnaire) score was 4, indication sub-threshold depression; GAD (General Anxiety Disorder) score was 6, indication mild anxiety; and my OCI (Obsessive Compulsive Inventory) score was 68! A score above 42 indicates OCD.

During the sessions, we worked on identifying the triggers for my OCD, and looked at ways of dealing with them. As well as dealing with low mood and social isolation.

At the end of my therapy this month, April, my scores were as follows – PHQ 0, GAD 0 and OCI 8. A significant change and the progress I have made has been remarkable.

I now hardly use my hand gel, I can go out and about, see friends, go to the gym, take the bus, and other such activities without being so crazily obsessed about germs. I’ve learnt to deal with my triggers and can practically ignore them altogether now. Which is amazing for me! I’ve been consumed by OCD for so long, or rather I had been! I’m now taking really positive steps to just simply living life and not letting OCD get in the way. To be quite honest, I’m loving life! I feel like I’ve broken free from OCD, and I’ve really taken back the control that it had over me.

I really feel mentally really well, which is awesome! Physically I’m feeling pretty good too, although rather tired! Of course there are the usual stresses of life like overdue bills and such that I’m struggling to deal with at the moment, but that’s just life I suppose. Have been in a worse situation financially to be honest, so I should be able to deal with this. I’m trying not to let it get me down, but it’s hard sometimes. Have found myself feeling really overwhelmed with it all from time to time, and it’s not a nice feeling.

Enough of that, I don’t want to bring myself down too much! Am still buzzing from my workout and I don’t want to lose that feeling too soon 😀

I have been off my meds for a couple of days though, which is a little scary. Simply because I’ve run out and I can’t request a repeat for another 3 days according to the on-line prescription system. I guess I could get an emergency one, but I’ve just not done so. Not really sure why I haven’t…. I guess I kinda wanted to see what would happen. So far I’m feeling okay, just a little spaced out from time to time. Other than that, no serious side effects of withdrawal. I don’t recommend it though folks, so don’t do it! I’ve got a really supportive husband that is keeping an eye on me, and I know the signs of when things are going the wrong direction, so at the moment I’m doing okay.

Anyway, that’s it for today folks, time for some colouring and chilling out 🙂 art therapy is great! \

Thanks for reading as always; take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

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