26th March

Hey folks,

Another good day in my world; feeling really good, albeit a little achey still! Did my workout this morning, then decided to clear out the bedroom! Looks so much better and I think it’ll help me sleep. Sounds odd I know, but when the bedroom is messy I seem to struggle sleeping well. I suppose it’s that feng sui malarky….? haha. I tried to get my head around it once before, but never really got into it!

I’ve only got another 2 days of Shaun T’s Hip Hop Abs….feels weird that it’s coming to an end! Not sure why! But, it does mean the start of my next mission: the gym! I’ve booked Legs, bums and tums for Tuesday, and Ladies Tone for Thursday. Monday, Wednesday and Friday will be doing my own thing….eek! Not quite sure where to start really, but until I’ve booked in with D I’ve just got to make it up as I go along! Any exercise is better than none though 🙂 Hoping that by mid-April I’ll be working with D though and really seeing results. (For those of you who are new to my blog, D is my personal trainer!). I’m really looking forward to it all, even though I know it’s going to be hard work; but it’ll be so worth it.

I’m determined to get the body I want! I’m thinking positively and will put in the work to get what I want 🙂

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I know I can do anything I put my mind to, and when I want something, I go all out to get it. I will be in a size 10 by the summer! 😀 I’m already shrinking out of a size 16, so that’s a good start! At least I didn’t get as big as I was before. The days of me being a size 22 are long gone behind me! Never going to get that big again. Getting back up to a size 16/18 was bad enough! I’m a little addicted to fitness now, I love my morning workout, it really sets me up for the day 🙂

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I’m just feeling good in general these days, which is good for me! I spent a lot of time down and miserable these last couple of years, so it’s about time I got some happiness back in my life! I’m feeling really proud of what I’ve accomplished as well – Beaten alcohol addiction; took back control over self-harm; and the most recent, conquered nicotine addiction. 3 really big things for me, and it’s made me realise just how strong I really am. I guess I can also say that I’m winning the war over my OCD demons as well! So that’s 4 things in 2 years. Pretty epic really.

Looking back scares me, just how bad things got. But I’m not going to dwell on it. Everything happens for a reason, and they say that you really have to hit rock bottom in order to come back stronger. I really feel that I have done so. Rock bottom isn’t a nice place to be, and I was there for far too long. But I fought back, and here I am to tell my story. I know I’ve probably said all this before, but some days it just amazes me what I’ve been through in life and what I’ve overcome.

Getting a little emosh now, so best leave it there! Let’s just say I’m living proof that mental illness doesn’t have to mean the end; to be honest, it’s really just the beginning of a journey, and it’s worth fighting every day. I wouldn’t change a single thing about my journey; I know how mad that sounds, but it’s given me a lot of life lessons and I’ve learnt a lot about myself over that time.

Anyway, that really is all for today! Thanks for reading lovely people. Take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

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