1st March

Hey folks,

march

Having a really lazy day today, so thought I’d blog early for a change.

I’m feeling alright, to a point. A little bit low, I guess it’s the Sunday blues…. that thought of the imminent week beginning again. And for me, some changes. Firstly being my diet; I need to cut out the junk so badly. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m always munching on things that I shouldn’t, and it’s been suggested to be that I have Binge Eating Disorder. Because I binge on food, even when I’m not hungry. It’s another thing I’m going to bring up with my GP on the 13th.

The second thing, is reintroducing exercise to my daily routine. I’m going to be starting Shaun T’s Hip Hop Abs from tomorrow, as the programme starts on a Monday, with Sunday’s being a rest day. I’m looking forward to trying something new, but also a bit apprehensive at introducing exercise again. As it didn’t go so well last time! I’m thinking I might sell off my Jillian Michaels DVD’s, as the 30 Day Shred I’m just bored of from doing it so many times, and the Ripped in 30 was just too much for me. I’m glad I never went to the extreme of Insanity now! I’d have never of kept it up and then would have felt rubbish about myself for not being able to. HHA’s looks like it’s a lot of fun to be honest, so fingers crossed it suits me better. I’ve always liked hip hop dance, so I’m looking forward to giving it a go!

After such a good mood yesterday, I am a little deflated at feeling like I do today. I was hoping things were getting better, but it just seems like it was a fluke day. I still can’t get the thoughts about becoming a mother out of my head as well; it’s beginning to drive me a little crazy. It feels like everywhere I turn there’s babies or pregnant women; I’m hoping it’s a sign! I really want 2015 to be my year, and I’ll do anything to make it happen.

One thing I am looking forward to this week, is 2 sessions of Rock Choir. As I’ve missed so much am doubling up for a couple weeks to catch up! So I’m going tomorrow and Tuesday evening. Feels like forever since I last went to a session, and I’ve missed learning an entire song!! Fingers crossed for good health and all that from now on, so I don’t have to miss any more!

Apart from that and CBT, I’ve got nothing planned for this week; I might try see my mum at some point, as it’s been a while, again! I feel really guilty for not making more of an effort to see her, but time seems to fly by and I don’t ever seem to get there.

I can’t believe it’s March already; and one of my cousins turned 19 today too, that makes me feel so old! I can remember when he was born, I was only 11! Time sure does fly! My youngest cousin will be heading off to college in September as well, so that makes me feel well old! I’ve still not gotten my head around the fact that I’m 30 now either, still feels a bit surreal!

Anyway, I’m going to leave it there for today, I think that’s enough waffle from me! If you’ve made it through the whole post, I salute you!

Thanks for reading folks, take care, stay strong and until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

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