25th February

Hey folks,

Today hasn’t been so bad; I actually woke up without a headache for the first time in 10 days! Great I thought…. then I decided to go for a walk, and it brought on a headache! What the hell?! I thought exercise was meant to be good for you!

Aside from that, my moods still been pretty low. No motivation or energy, and just generally fed up. I’m trying to think positively, and look on the bright side of things, but it’s just not working. I don’t know what’s up with me at the moment. I just can’t seem to shake the blues that have taken over me. It’s getting annoying now. All I want to do is sleep all the time!

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I thought it was just because I’ve been unwell physically, but I’m beginning to think it’s the other way around. I’m unwell physically because I’m depressed. Again. And it sucks.

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I’m thinking about booking in to see my GP again; tell him how I’m feeling and see what he says. It’s almost like the medication just isn’t working for me any more, or barely at least. I feel like I’m just existing, not living. I’m trapped in a little bubble of misery and I can’t find a needle to pop it. Etc etc. I could go on with analogies all night, but what’s the point? I think you get the general idea. I feel crappy and I don’t know what to do about it. I try to keep smiling and putting a brave face on it all, but I’m just getting tired of doing that now. It’s a lot easier said than done.

I’m meant to be starting a new workout on Monday, but right now even a walk today was hard work. I’ve just got no zest for doing anything right now. It’s a horrible feeling and I really wish it’d go away now. I’ll push myself to keep going, like I always do, but it’s hard. And it’s getting harder every day.

Doctors appointment is booked. 13th March. I can’t go on like this….

Anyway, that’s all from me for tonight, my head is pounding and it’s beginning to affect my vision šŸ˜¦

Take care everyone, stay strong, and thanks for reading as always. Until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

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