24th February

Hey folks,

Another day, another headache. This time felt different though, more fuzzy and kinda empty feeling in my head. Felt strange, but I wasn’t in so much pain. Notice the wasn’t part…. it’s back now and hurting a fair bit. I’m also running a bit of a temperature. Oh the joys of being me right now!

Have had a really lazy day though, just watching TV and sleeping. So I’m doing as I’m told and resting. Makes a change for me! I’m not really good at doing what I’m told to, I’m too much of a rebel haha. But with this I have no choice, I can’t physically do much without feeling terrible, so I have to be good and rest.

Mood wise I’m still pretty low and fed up with it all. Had to miss Rock Choir again tonight, for a couple reasons, but it really sucks. I think it would have done me good and been the pick me up tonic that I needed. Ah well, fingers crossed for next week.

I was reading another blog (Ashkaay‘s) earlier on, about fathers. And it got me thinking about my dear dad. This blog post I was reading was saying how any man can make a baby, but it takes a real man to be a dad. In my case this is so true. You see, my dad, was in actual fact, my grand father. But he brought me up as his own daughter when my biological father walked out when I was 6 weeks old. Him and my grand mother looked after me while my mother went back to work. My grand father was always known as dad to me, and always will be. My biological father, wherever he may be right now, was a coward and left. My grand father stepped up and took over the responsibility, and I’ll forever be grateful and thankful that he did. I miss him dearly, and would give anything for just one more day with him. I know that I can’t though, and that hurts. I don’t think I’ll ever truly be over the loss of him, and perhaps that’s not such a bad thing. I live each day and try to do things that would make him proud. I know he’s watching over me every day, and sometimes, I like to believe anyway, he sends me little signs letting me know he’s with me.

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Tears

Anyway, enough from me for today, my heads pounding!

Take care one and all, and thanks for reading as always. Stay strong, until next time….

x Sara Phoenix x

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