7th January

Hey folks,

Today has been a tough day; last night I barely slept. As soon as my head hit the pillow, I was wide awake! I just couldn’t settle down and sleep at all. I was still awake at gone 2am this morning, and it was really frustrating. The more I tossed and turned, the more annoyed I was getting, and the more sleep evaded me. Hubby was restless as well. I think I finally drifted off around 3am ish. So when the alarms went off at 6.20am I’d had about 3 hours. No way enough for me, I’m the kind of girl who needs a good 8 hours!

So this morning, I was so overwhelmingly tired. I really didn’t want to get out of bed at all. Just wanted to pull the covers over my head and go back to sleep. But, I’ve gotten on with my day and been quite active.

I started the day with breakfast and lots of coffee! Then I dragged my sorry self upstairs and got my workout done and had a shower. I felt a little bit more human afterwards, and slightly more awake. I managed to get myself into town as well, and bought a few things I needed. Since getting back I’ve just chillaxed and watched tv. Got the laundry done as well, so am keeping on top of that for once!

Determined to keep myself going until bed time, otherwise I won’t sleep again tonight. I don’t know if it was mania or just simple insomnia. My mind was racing somewhat, so it could of been a bit of both I guess. Just one of those things I have to deal with from time to time.

Am sat here yawning my head off haha. Cannot wait until bed time to be honest. Just keeping everything crossed that I’ll be able to sleep tonight.

My mum was let out of hospital late last night, still in pain and very tired, but they ruled out anything serious. So hopefully she’s on the mend now. The worry of that could have been partly to do with my lack of sleep too.

Today’s biggest positive is 273 days self harm free, only 93 days to the 1 year mark!! Crazy stuff, but so damn proud.

This time last year I’d been to see the Pdoc for the first time. I was really low and quite honestly, miserable that day. I nearly didn’t go into the appointment, my husband had to almost drag me in. It was like a million questions and totally exhausted me. All in all it was a tough day, for very different reasons to today. Seems to be a reoccurring theme for me to have low mood in January. Am just going to blame it on the January blues!!

Anyway, that’s enough waffle from me today, hubby is now home so it’s time to crack on with some dinner for us both. Thanks as always for reading, means a lot. Sorry it was short and not really all that sweet!!

Take care, stay strong, and until next time…..

x Sara Phoenix x


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