I thought I would do a round-up of the year to see out 2014 and get ready for 2015!! I’m going to focus on just the positive things, taken from my positives book and my blog (it’s taken a couple of days to get it done!!) 🙂
So, here goes!!
- 2nd – Started seeing my Employment Advisor
- 3rd – Had first stage of Faith the Phoenix tattoo done
- 4th – 1 year sober-versary
- 5th – Set up my very own art business
- 7th – 1st Psychiatrist appointment
- 9th – Achieved target weight at Slimming World
- 14th – Attempted to quit smoking
- 22nd – Started Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
- 4th – 2nd Psychiatrist appointment
- 7th – Submitted my blog into “Blog for mental health project 2014”
- 17th – My 29th birthday
- 18th – Had 2nd stage of Faith the Phoenix tattoo done
- 20th – Received a job offer for temp work
- 4th – 3rd Psychiatrist appointment
- 6th – Resisted some severe self harm urges
- 7th – Started new medication #1
- 16th – 50th blog post!
- 17th – My Facebook page (Sara Phoenix Blog) was born
- 18th – Guest blog post published on Red Falcon Project website
- 27th – 4 year wedding anniversary
- 1st – Psychiatrist appointment – Diagnosed with Bipolar Affective Disorder
- 3rd – Started new medication #2
- 9th – Created my mantra:
As hard as it may be, I refuse to sink; instead I’ll learn to fly.
One thing I know for sure, is that on a daily basis I feel and struggle with pain and distress, that weighs be down like an anchor. The negative thoughts often outweighing and overwhelming the positive; but it won’t be that way forever.
I can’t see or feel my wings right now, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. Every day I’ll do my best and what I need to do to get through the bad days and struggles, as I battle against me, myself and I.
Because every day is different and I can’t control how I’ll feel, I’m taking it slowly at my own pace. One day at a time is the only way I can do this.
But one day, I’ll release that anchor, to the depths of the deep blue sea forever, spread my wings and soar to victory over my condition. I will learn to manage it, in a positive way and take back control.
I am not my condition; I am me with a condition.
I will win; maybe not immediately, but eventually.
- 30th – Completed the 12 weeks of CBT
- 4th – Ate a McDonalds without obsessing over using hand gel first!! (a big thing for me!)
- 19th – Husbands birthday!
- 31st – 52 days self harm free
- 6th – Took the positivity pledge:
I shall no longer allow negative thoughts or feelings drain me of my energy. Instead I shall focus on all that is good in my life. I will think it, feel it, and speak it. By doing so I will send out vibes of positive energy into the world and I shall be grateful for all the wonderful things it will attract into my life.
- 11th – Felt good about myself for the first time all year
- 16th – 1 year, 5 months and 12 days sober
- 20th – Had 3rd and final stage of Faith the Phoenix tattoo done!!!!
- 28th – Rock Choir show!
- 30th – 82 days self harm free!
- 1st – Offered a part-time job in a nursery school
- 4th – First day at the nursery
- 6th – 88 days self harm free and 1 year, 6 months and 2 days sober!
- 7th – Watched Le Tour De France pass through Cambridge
- 18th – 100 DAYS SELF HARM FREE!!!
- 10th – 123 days/4 months self harm free!!
- 23rd – Had my butterfly tattoo done to represent my struggles with self harm (The butterfly project)
- 25th – Went to Harry Potter world!!!!!!!
- 31st – 144 days self harm free 🙂
- 1st – Discharged from Psychiatric care
- 6th – Took part in the Memory Walk for Alzheimer’s Society
- 16th – Offered a new job, left the nursery
- 18th – 162 days/5 months 10 days self harm free
- 29th – First day at new job
- 30th – 174 days self harm free
- 5th – 11 year anniversary of getting together with my lovely husband
- 11th – Took part in the Stand Up To Cancer March for Cancer Research
- 14th – 1 year, 9 months, 10 day sober
- 16th – Resigned from my job to ease anxiety
- 18th – Offered another new job!
- 23rd – First day at new job!
- 26th – 200 DAYS SELF HARM FREE!!!!
- 20th – Resigned from my job and came to the realisation that my Pdoc was right about how I’d find it hard to hold down a job. Put my health first and became unemployed for the foreseeable future
- 29th – Reached 100 followers on my blog
- 30th – 235 days self harm free
- 5th – Medication increased
- 24th – Reached 140 followers on my blog
- 25th – CHRISTMAS!!! 260 DAYS SELF HARM FREE!!!!
- 29th – Reached over 6000 views on my blog!
- 31st – Made it to the end of the year! 266 days self harm free!!!! 🙂 and 1 year birthday of this blog!!!!!
So to sum up this year: Up and down! It started off pretty low and tough going, but looking back through my positives book has shown me how many things I’ve achieved and overcome. Of course there were going to be setbacks along the way, I anticipated that. But the main thing is, I came out the other side and am still here to tell my story.
As for the goals I set myself, well let’s see what I achieved from those!!
- Get to target weight before my birthday – I DID IT! However, thanks to my medication have put on 3 stone since then…
- Get back into exercise, even if it’s just walking – I sort of did that… on and off!!
- Take control of my mental health; fight for recovery! – I DEFINITELY HAVE DONE THAT!
- Quit smoking – Attempted a few times, but sadly didn’t succeed.
So, goals for 2015? Oh yes!
- Quit smoking! I’ll do it when I’m ready though. I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself, but I WILL do it in 2015!
- Get back to target weight – Rejoining Slimming World on January 8th!
- Get back into fitness – Starting the 30 Day Shred on January 2nd!
- Stay strong and keep fighting!
There is a 5th, which is the same as this years, but I won’t reveal it on my blog! Those of you close to me know what it is 😉
I feel really content and accomplished right now; I’ve come so far and I can recognise that now. I’m 266 days self harm free, approaching my 2 year sober-versary in January and have my Bipolar under control (well, mostly!). I’m really hopeful about what 2015 may hold for me. Aside from the fact that I turn 30 years old, I’m looking forward to it! Bring it on!!!
Thank you all for your support over this past year; it’s truly meant a lot to me, and has made my journey a lot more tolerable. I won’t ever be able to thank you all enough, but I want you all to know how I appreciate each and every one of you, and always will!
Anyway, that’s all for this year folks! and what a year it has been eh?! Here’s to a great 2015, all the best to you all and I hope the new year brings you lots of good things! I wish you all health, wealth and happiness!! 🙂
Until next year…..!!
x Sara Phoenix x