November 9th – Responsibility

Hey folks,

Day 4 of 7 done! Am absolutely shattered, but it was a good shift. I was given the responsibility of being in charge and holding the keys to the shop!! Not bad after only 2 weeks huh?! I feel quite proud that I was trusted with it, and even though I had no clue what on earth I would do if something went wrong, I felt good about it. I was working alongside a young lad, who has only been there a couple of months, so he didn’t really know what we were meant to be doing, so we used our initiative and just stocked shelves as much as possible, with the stock we had available. The 4 hours went quite quickly, even though it was quite a quiet day customer wise. I felt really positive when I left, even though I’m seriously looking forward to my day off on Thursday!!!

3 more shifts/12 hours to get through, and then it’s new mattress and ink day! (Hopefully, have to confirm tomorrow on the ink!). I cannot wait to get the new mattress, ours is soooooooo uncomfortable and it’s interrupting our sleep a lot now. Could account for why I’m so tired all the time, as I know I’m not sleeping properly at night. My medication doesn’t help either, that makes me feel very tired too. So the two combined is kind of a recipe for disaster on the sleep front! But hopefully that’ll be sorted when the new mattress is here šŸ™‚

Today is 214 days self harm free šŸ˜€ I feel increasingly proud each and every day. There was a time where I couldn’t go a day without cutting, but here I am 200+ days on, and really in control of it. The only time I think about it is in general to keep track of my clean count! The actual urge to cut is long gone. It feels really good to have overcome it, and I often look at my scars and think ‘why’?!, but I try not to dwell. There’s no point in dwelling on the past; it’s always better to concentrate on the present and the rest will take care of itself. The past is gone and can’t be changed; the future isn’t here yet, what you do today will decide how the future turns out, so the only thing you need worry about is the present.

Right, I need to get myself to bed, am so tired I’m starting to go cross eyed haha. Thanks for reading lovelies, and also hello and welcome to my new followers! Thanks for joining me on my journey šŸ™‚ means a lot.

Take care folks, until next time…… x

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