Have been quite productive today; have tidied up our bedroom and the big spare room. Found a few things I’d forgotten about and tired myself out at the same time! Feeling quite proud of myself for achieving something though, rather than sitting and dwelling on things.
I look around the house and see so many things that need doing but rarely have the motivation or the energy to do them. Sometimes I get so fed up with the state of the place I just close my eyes and go to sleep. Then I can’t see it anymore. I know how lazy that sounds, but sometimes it’s just easier for me to do that.
Been thinking a lot about work today. Almost willing my phone to ring with a job offer. I’m in 2 minds of whether to just resign from my current job and be done with it. It makes me feel sick and my anxiety hits hard whenever I think about going back, so it may be for the best. I just wish I had a job offer to seal the deal. At the moment being signed off is at least a little bit of money, which is better than none at all.
Ugh I get so down thinking about it too. I need to get things sorted or I’m just going to be on a constant downer every time I think about it. I don’t need that stress right now.
In other news, it’s 159 days self harm free. Once again, I am proud of myself for that and I know that I’m in control of it. I haven’t had any urges to do it either, so that’s a real positive.
This morning I managed to do a workout too, so that sort of set me up for the productive day I suppose. I was exhausted but felt energised at the same time. It’s a weird but good feeling. I’m going to try and work out at least 3 times a week now. Getting my fitness mojo back which is awesome.
Right, before my phone battery dies, am going to sign off for today. Until next time lovely people, thanks for reading!