Sorry for my ranty post last night, just had to get it all out. Feeling so much better about it all now *smiles*
Anyway, today I’m posting about the submission I made to a blog called “The Recovery Letters”
(from the blog) “The Recovery Letters publishes letters from people recovering from depression, addressed to those currently suffering”
So, here is my letter:
If you’re reading this, then you’re probably having a bad day, or even a bad week or two; it happens from time to time.
What I’m going to tell you, you may not believe, but it’s true: It won’t last forever.
You may be sat there reading this, thinking that there’s no hope or happiness to be found; doubting yourself, your strength, who you are as a person even; you may even have that annoying poison parrot sitting on your shoulder, whispering sweet nothings of negativity constantly; and you may even be planning your way out. DON’T.
There will be better days, maybe even tomorrow. I hope you’re listening to me now, because here are the most important things to remember:
You ARE strong. You ARE capable. You CAN get through this. You WILL beat the black dog.
I know that it doesn’t feel like it right now, and everything is really overwhelming and scary. I know that the intrusive thoughts are screaming and won’t give you a break for even 5 minutes. I know that all you want to do is cry, hide away or even end it all. But, the latter is NOT an option.
You have so much to live for; so much to fight for. Think about your family and friends – You have so many people that love, care and want to support you. Turn to them for help, don’t battle this alone. Shutting yourself away is the worst thing you can do. Ask for help, and I’m sure they’ll be there for you.
Look at how far you’ve come; you have fought through tougher times and came out victorious on the other side. Yes, today may well be a bad day, but it’s not infinite. Soon you’ll reach the end and step on the bottom of a ladder. Keep searching for that ladder. It IS there, and you WILL find it and come back up again. Trust me. Never give up HOPE that better days are just around the corner, all you’ve got to do is tough it out for today, scratch it up to experience and move on.
You made it through yesterday, and you can make it through today, tomorrow, and beyond. You are STRONGER than you believe you are.
Remember this mantra: REFUSE TO SINK, INSTEAD LEARN TO FLY. – Find your wings and soar up, up and away from all the negativity. You know you can do it. You’re a WARRIOR. You’re a SURVIVOR.
You know that inside of you there is a fire burning, fan the flames and get that head up. How can you see where you’re going if you keep looking at your feet? Look forward, not down or back. There are better days ahead, and one day, you’ll read this and think “Hey, she was right! Look at me now, I’m doing great!”
So now then little fighter, chin up and show the world that smile, things will get brighter. You got this.
Love, Sara x
I really hope it helps people, like the original that it’s adapted from, helps me on bad days. It gives hope and encouragement, and support in a way too. It shows that recovery is possible, no matter how hard it seems some days.
I enjoy writing for blogs and websites, and helping others. It’s therapeutic for me also, because I can focus on positive things and in turn it makes me feel more positive.
When I write, I can really lose myself in that moment. It all comes from the heart, every time. I am always 100% honest, with both myself and the people reading what I write. I feel that’s important. There’s no point in lying or covering things up, especially where mental health is concerned. There’s been far too much deceit and hurt over the last couple of years in my life, and since I started writing this blog, I’ve always been completely open and truthful about everything. For those that I lied to in the past, whom are still in my life, I want to say thank you for standing by me, and seeing the bigger picture. Your open minds and understanding in the face of difficult times, really means a lot to me. I’m not proud of my past at all, and feel almost angry at my illness for letting it go that far. That’s not to say that I’m blaming my illness for it all, although of course I probably could. But, it’s over and done with now. Things have improved a lot, and I’m a lot better than I was.
My medication makes such a difference to my moods and I’m glad that I’m on the right path now. My bipolar diagnosis no longer scares me, and I’ve taken back the control that it had over me. It’s true that, left untreated, it can take over your entire being. I’ve learnt that first hand. It’s grip is often iron strong, and unless you get the right help, you’re not going to ever truly have control over it. I’ve read a lot of things about the disorder, medication, personal stories and experiences, and I can see that the un-medicated do struggle far more than they need to. I also understand why they prefer to be un-medicated though. The thought of being reliant upon pills for the rest of your life, is very daunting. It is also something that many are reluctant to take on. At first I was very uneasy about being medicated, and at one point I remember saying myself how I didn’t need medication, that I was okay and could handle it myself. But after 3 or 4 days without medication I felt awful, and knew that I needed them. So I can see both sides of the equation really.
I looked back over a few of my blog posts from the beginning of my journey, and can see just how bad I was. The manner in which some posts are written, shows the lowest of points in my life. It is quite scary to look back and read some of them, I really did lose myself. Now however, I’m feeling better than I have in a long time. Yes of course there’s still a few glitches every now and then, triggered by life stress; but I’m so much stronger and deal with those times in such a different way to how I did before. I see the bigger picture now, rather than just in that moment. Worrying and stressing about things does come naturally to me, that’s how I’ve always been. But the way I deal with that worry and stress is different now. Instead of burying me head and hoping all the bad things just go away, I face it head on and try to reduce or even eliminate the cause. It’s such a different attitude and I’m really proud of myself.
I am rising like the Phoenix on my arm, and soon that will be coloured and full of life, like me.
I thought of another was of describing myself too, as like a tree. Yes I know how odd that probably sounds, but a tree faces so much adversity, like extreme weather conditions, and yet stands and takes it all. It almost fights back against it all, standing strong and tall. It’s how I feel I am, I’ve faced a lot of adversity. I’ve battled through extreme swings in my mood and am still here to tell my story. When I felt like giving up, I didn’t. When I felt like I couldn’t take any more, I stood up tall and defied the pain and torment. I’m a fighter, and like the tree, I will not quit, no matter what the weather (my mind/life) throws at me.
Anyway, I think that’s all I’ve got to ramble about today, so I shall leave it there! I hope at least some of it made sense!!! I’ve not re-read through it though, so when I hit publish I’m trusting myself to have written something worthwhile!!
Until next time…