May 12th – Stressed.

Hey folks, 

Word/mood/feelings of the day = STRESSED! 

Bills/debts coming out of my ears, no money to pay them, and facing bad actions against me because of it. I’m sick of the constant struggle. Yes, I am starting work, but it doesn’t help the immediate issues and I just don’t know how much more I can take. 

Stress is making me feel low and really unmotivated. I just feel like hiding away and telling the world to do one. I feel physically sick sometimes because of it. Phoning up companies to say I can’t pay is like torture and sets off my anxiety big time. I hate hate hate hate, it all. Surely I deserve a lucky strike after all the crap I’ve dealt with the past few months?! Seemingly not… .

I’ve got another phone call to make tomorrow, regarding the council tax. That’s going to be just as horrific and the consequences of not paying that, well I don’t even want to think about it. I just don’t know what to do any more. 

I try and I try and never get anywhere. It’s total bollocks. Sorry for the language, but I’m in a really foul mood. Spent 35 minutes on hold to our electricity company, only to be told that because our financial situation is showing more outs than ins, they can’t agree to anything other than fitting a prepayment meter. Not going to go down well with the landlady though, so that’s going to be awkward.

I managed to get my workout done this morning, really struggled though as had very little sleep. My mind was racing last night and just wouldn’t switch off. I think I fell asleep around 3-4am… then of course up by 7am. I hope I sleep better tonight, as I start my temp job tomorrow, and need to be alert! 

I haven’t really done anything else today, other than read and watch tv. Just not felt very productive at all. Made burgers for dinner…that’s about it. Such a rock and roll life eh!? 

Am going to log off here now and chillax, so here’s the usual positive quotes (despite not feeling very positive myself right now…) to end with, until next time…. 

“Throughout the years of your life you will face many challenges, remember that you can climb the highest mountain, drive through the roughest storm, soar across the bluest sky, or even sail across the roughest waters. It is only destined by your attitude where you will end up in life.” – Angela Duvali 

“No matter how bad things are at any one moment, no moment lasts. Good or bad, time moves on because it has to. And so do you.”

 

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